Dear Zed, it happened again!

(No not that, that happens on a more regular basis come to think of it)

I was back at work and making an unnoticed dash towards the public ablution facility. The reason being is that this little fella had snuck up on me and now it was a race against the clock, for the sake of my trousers. I raced into the cubical with my belt unbuckling with ease, which gave me peace of mind to ‘relax’. Or so I thought. As I was about the take my place at Pride Rock, I noticed the seat was broken, as in, there wasn’t anything connecting it to the bowl. I had to act fast, there was no time for the Titanic to pull back into the harbour, she was already half way through the Atlantic. I clutched on with both paws and bid a bon voyage to the SS Teamer. After a sad and rather turbulent goodbye, I let go of the seat and bowl and tried to relax. Bad mistake. The next 30 seconds I spent learning about my centrifugal forces, riding around like I was on one of those mechanical bulls. It wasn’t fun. I cut my paper session short as the seat started to fire up again like a hovercraft, and thats when I noticed ANOTHER monstrosity.

It reminded me of the first time ‘these’ beings came into being. It was our families Greek island holiday, I had eaten heaven-knows-what, and decided it was time for my usual terrorizing of the small bowl. After finishing my negotiations with the white porcelain, Chris was also feeling the effects of the felafal from lunch, and entered the conference room. I heard a high pitched shreak, and Chris ran out looking at me in disgust, trying to find the words to explain his horrification as well as impressment. He sat me down as any father would and suggested that in future I should try find a stick or small branch and put the poor guy out of his misery.

So I took his advice from there on.

By the time I left home in my late teens, I had assembled a whole forrest of different pieces of wood, enough to make a Daniel Naude bonfire.

I’m trying to think why I’m telling you this, apart from the fact that these kind of things interest you. I think I was trying to tell you a message. You see, Zed, life and its problems are like a rather large fella, all you have to do to break it up is not by using a mighty sword, but by using a tiny twig. This will flush away you problems.

I hope this has helped. It’s certainly how I live my life by..